It’s that time of the year when many people begin making New Year’s resolutions and considering ways to improve themselves in the coming year. Many of these goals will be somehow related to your physical body (stop smoking, eat healthier, exercise more) or changing external circumstances (get out of debt, buy a new car, learn to cook) which could all be excellent resolutions, but may I suggest that you take this opportunity to make resolutions to develop your character and continue or begin a journey of manning up. To maximize our chance of success we need to ensure these resolutions or goals are SMART and have an action plan to accomplish them (check here for my article to break this down) and we need to approach these with the mindset that we can and will accomplish them (check our Facebook page for the Pinky and the Brain post to break that down). Here are some suggestions on some possible resolutions.

• I resolve to give more. For this to be SMART it would need to be more specific and measurable but pick a person or organisation in need and schedule a regular day or time to give in some way (financially, with your time etc.). Make this a non-negotiable part of your life. For me this is our sponsor children. Even when money has been tight, and we’ve been trimming our budget this is one area I’m not willing to cut back.
• I resolve to be a better dad/husband. Identify specific activities that lead to this being a reality and regularly implement them. Some ideas would be regular quality time or “daddy dates” with kids, date nights with your partner, improving communication with a daily check in with your partner or older children, or scheduling monthly family days.
• I resolve to share my feelings. This is a difficult one for many men but is also key to developing strong communication and good relationships. A good place to start may be daily journalling and sharing that with someone close to you.
• I resolve to be kinder. Start with focusing on showing kindness to one person and once you’ve mastered that, add a second, and then third until you’re being kinder to everyone around you. For those who are out of practice, some ways to show kindness could be complimenting someone, starting a friendly conversation at lunch, getting them a coffee or holding a door for them when they’re coming behind you.
• I resolve to embrace the challenge. This is going to be the largest in scale which is why I linked the article to break down what it means. Identify a challenge larger than yourself that feels too big to accomplish but also feels deeply fulfilling. Begin identifying ways to tackle this challenge and making the necessary changes in your life to do so.

Whatever resolution you choose, share it with men who are close to you, and you trust to support you and hold you accountable. If you don’t have that kind of person in your life, begin reaching out to develop those relationships and in the meantime check out the newly formed Manning Up Men’s Support Group on Facebook where you can share successes, failures, questions, struggles, resolutions or whatever else in a supportive environment and invite your friends to do the same.