There are all kinds of traditions that are celebrated around the holidays. Some are religious, some are cultural and the origin of some may have been lost to history. Many people feel deep attachment to those traditions and are careful to pass those on to there children, while others may not really understand the meaning of the traditions but continue to follow them anyway. There is also a third group though that wants to establish new holiday traditions as a family, possibly merging those with already existing traditions. For those looking for ideas on how to establish these family customs, here are some pointers.

1. Build customs that line up with your family values or culture. Different families find different experiences beneficial and this should strongly influence how you build a tradition. As an example, if your family is very active and outdoorsy, perhaps a tradition of sledding, skating or hiking as a family. If you’re in a family of movie lovers, maybe spending a day watching movies together or weekly holiday movie nights. If you’re  a competitive family, maybe a board game or video game night is more up your alley. Whatever things your family enjoys doing together, find a way to work them into your holiday traditions. Don’t try to implement a custom that seems like what a good family might do if that doesn’t line up with the values and culture of your family.
2. Build customs that incorporate your religious or spiritual beliefs, cultural traditions or local customs. Many of the worlds major religions have significant events that occur during the same general time of the year, such as Christmas, Hanukkah, Ramadan, Bodhi Day and Yule, so if your family feels those beliefs are an important part of your life, then try and incorporate that into your own family traditions. Many cultures also have major celebrations this time of year as well, often related to one of the religious holidays, but not all, such as Kwanzaa, Thanksgiving, Feast Day of Our Lady Guadalupe and New Year’s Day. If your ancestral culture is important to you, then it may be a good idea to include some of these in your family’s traditions.
3. If you’re still looking for ideas and what might be included, here are some of the traditions we have in my family. We try to multiple times, but at least once a year, we get hot chocolates and drive around looking at Christmas lights and talk about which houses were our favorites. Instead of having a large dinner on Christmas, we have a candle lit dinner together on the night of the Winter Solstice to celebrate the light that is in each of us even in the darkest times. This year we adapted so the main course was KFC instead of a turkey after hearing that was a common practice on Christmas in Japan, and we found the saved time on preparing the full supper was well worth it. On Christmas Eve we leave cookies, chocolate milk and glass bottles of Coke for Santa and Mrs. Claus, sinch those are their favorite treats when they visit our house, and carrots for his reindeer. The kids then all have a sleepover together downstairs in the playroom while my wife and I frantically wrap presents upstairs (although hopefully we are prepared enough to end that tradition this year). On Christmas Day we open our presents and then spend the day relaxing, checking our presents and watching movies together while enjoying meals of appetizers and snacks since we already had our large meal. We’re also always looking for new customs to include to make this season more special. As an example, this year we are planning to build Christmas tree out of cookies we make and decorate with a kit we got from the dollar store.
4. Once you have some ideas for things that could be included in these traditions, collaborate with your family to find some to begin implementing, and after trying them, take some time to discuss as a family whether it seemed like a good fit, whether the amount of effort required is reasonable and if it overall seems like it is worth regularly incorporating and find a way to ensure that it becomes a part of your holiday practices, because more than any other time of year, if you don’t plan these things out, they will be cancelled out by the natural busyness of the season.
5. If a tradition you have established is no longer working, don’t keep forcing it for the sake of habit. Families grow and change and your traditions and customs and grow and change with you. As your kids get older and begin to build their own relationships and commitments outside of the family, these customs can change with the family and adjust to your new reality until there may come a time when those kids are forming their own families and building traditions of their own, which is really the ultimate sign that what you did was worthwhile. The key to remember is that the custom itself is not the important thing, the time spent together as a family is.

Hopefully this has been helpful in setting you on a path to developing holiday traditions for your family. Either way, make sure to take time together as a family this season.